Adapt, ignore…?

I hated being nicknamed.

At some point in our lives, we have been given names following our weaknesses in most cases, or strengths. 

Sometimes we get named probably because of our inability to speak well, our hyper appetite for food, the clothes we wear, people we like associating ourselves with most; generally on the basis of what we do and how we look.

This short vacation I spent it at my rural and it was full of fun by the way. I happened to meet one of my old friend who had once been my classmate too. 

“Man, you’ve really grown up!” That was her first statement. “I know. You too, you are that little girl anymore.”

She went on to ask whether I remembered how they used to call, which I definitely did. 

In my first and second year at high school, I used to be that quiet student. You couldn’t assume my presence that easily. I spent most of my time alone, either reading or hanging around in solitude. Not that I didn’t feel the urge to be around other students, it just occurred that way. So, as a result of my aloneness there I received a new name which I’m still not sure whether I should share out. I think I shouldn’t.

I can still visualize myself during those embarrassing times when someone would call me by that name and I’d assume that nothing had happened. If I was walking then I would proceed on without looking back or sideways. Unfortunately, that wouldn’t end there. My ‘stubbornness’ could not be tolerated.

The voice calling could grow even louder to produce echoes in my ears or with a third-party being involved,”hey, can you inform ‘so-and-so’  beside you that I’m calling him.”

Oh poor boy, I just had to look back!

That was more than enough to have me shrink for almost my entire high school time. Each time I would have this negative self-talk in my mind, ” is  there a chance that what they are saying is true?”

To be honest, I used to feel so small in front of my naysayers.

A number of year down now, though the attachment I used to have to the said ‘me’ has disintegrated, what remains with me are the memories.

With that and many other experiences, I have come to realize that some of that detachment comes with time and some with the realization of the true image of yourself.

Also, I have noticed that this is something that can never end regardless of your social class, the new friends you keep having or the successes you are having.

If you happened to be the president of your your country today, you’d still experience similar challenges or even more worse.

So, how do you then manage in such an environment where critics and setbacks never cease?

Adapt, ignore…?

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Obligation or opportunity?

# Opportunity or Obligation?

How consequential is it to focus your mind on the opportunities rather than the price to pay , in the process of accomplishing your dreams and goals?

I think any writer understands how perilous it can be to put all your attention on the pleasures and duties to postpone or drop to just secure some time to sit, think and write. Maybe, it can be setting an hour every evening which means you’ve got to limit the time you go out hanging with friends or slicing the time you spend with your kids. 

Same thing to one who wants to cut off weight and they have their fitness instructor on their necks with a list of their delicacies that they’ll have to drop. 

It’s always how a matter of, ‘where does your focus lie?’

With both situations bearing their own consequences, it depends which one proves stronger than the other. The one which does in turn influences your actions; bailing out or soldiering on.

It is pretty much scary to put all your concentration on the sacrifices to make or the unwelcoming conditions to endure just to consider it a step toward your achievement to be. Results for this is fear which silos up making you feel incompetent or not ready enough to take on a task. Your mind gets filled with all self interrogative questions;

” what will happen if I don’t meet what is required of me?”

“What if I’m just not good enough for the job?”

” what if I fail?”

Your fear for failure creates a lot of unnecessary pressure, mental and bodily strain, and discomfort that eats on most of your energy. The outcome being shooting down of your level of confidence as well as concentration and productivity.

I think this is one of the major ingredients for dissuasion and loss of motivation to trying something new.

On the other side of the page, it is much motivating to keep eying on the opportunities that you stands to chance on. 

Motivation is what keeps the candle inside you burning; a force that nudges you to step out of your comfort zone and and take advantage of evey single day to move a step closer to your dreams and goals. It keeps you interested, determined, committed and resilient enough when the going gets even tougher. 

Set backs never miss out in any undertaking. Whenever you feel like giving up remind yourself of this, that those are just stepping stones, that’s all they are and not tombstones. They are only meant to elevate your level of skillfulness and experience.

Train yourself to focus on the apple and let not the weeding procedures intimidate you!

Rise above your fears.

( From The Godly Chic Diaries)

Sometimes we get so caught up in the fear of things that we forget how strong we can be. We forget about that little light, that force, that magic inside that can help get us through. A journey is not linear. It has lots of twist and turns. It’s convoluted and complex. You will run into rough patches, but that’s all they are, patches. Just stay on your path, so when the hard times are over you will still be where you need to be. For those of us who are still working hard to get to that place. Keep your chin up and trust the process.

 

Be your best friend.

# Be your Best Friend.

We all have people that we feel we can trust and rely on. People who have once, twice or for several times lent us a hand when we fell ; our families or acquaintances. But as much as we think or believe so, the most trusted and loyal person you can ever have in your life is yourself. You are best friend of yourself that you can never have.

That you know you can and you should be your best friend, there is need for you also to understand that it is a prerequisite to establish a good relationship with yourself.

One great way of ensuring this is by spending quality time enriching and endowing yourself with the necessary knowledge by surrounding yourself with the best individuals and best books. What you feed your brain with really matters as far creating a suitable, serene environment with yourself is concerned. 

And like any other good relationship, you need to show appreciation and gratitude. You should be appreciative of who you are and that which you have. This would serve best to cut off self critics that can be result when you look at the best of life your friends have. Also it will help a lot in getting rid of the naysayers.Who enjoys being in the company of one who doesn’t appreciate them anyway? Having said this, I think I’m justified to jump to my next point.

Sometimes, what we want is not always available at the moment  of our great need. Don’t pressure yourself; it’s normal to be lacking. What isn’t normal is doing nothing about it to reverse the situation. You just have to give yourself some time as you work on it.
Avoid unhealthy comparison. We all have different capabilities and so it will be so unfair if you have yourself go for the lowest denominator because of what others have already accomplished. Maybe they have a lot of experience, and you are a start-up, in whichever field you are both in. You cannot be everyone else and you shouldn’t hang yourself by trying to be that way. Don’t try making yourself someone else’s photocopy. You just have be yourself, and unique. 

Do what motivates you. This is one way of exploring your talents and abilities. Focus your energy in making yourself better.

Don’t be hard on yourself whenever you make mistakes. Failure is nothing but a learning experience and you can use that knowledge to help you succeed next time. This’ll help keep your self esteem off the limits.

Relationships are like flowers; if you water them they’ll flourish but if you don’t they’ll wither away. Strengthen the bond between you and yourself. 

Thank you for reading and I hope this article has been of much help to you. Please like and drop your comments on the dialogue box below and make sure to revisit for more insights on living a happy life.

Why you should spend some time alone.

As social beings, it is our nature to find comfort in the company of our families, friends or workmates ; to enjoy the warmth of being surrounded by other people. Myself, one of my happier moments are those I go out with my friends for a ball game or coffee in the evenings. 

It is in such occasions that we happen to learn more by trading our minds, sharing our ideas and even open up and do things that we wouldn’t opt to or even think of in the company of some other people.

However, it is in these same moments that we can have our inner selves confronted with our self esteems going low and our brains running wild.  It is in such occasions, that we sometimes lose focus and forget our self worth.

When we spend all our time with other people we run at a risk of forgetting who we are, our real identity, what we want and begin trying to fit in everyone else’s image of an ideal person. We start trying to be who other people want us to be. We forsake our own lives and start living other people’s.

It is therefore most advisable to spend as much time with yourself as much as you do with others.

 After all the work throughout the day, you are most likely to be feeling so much exhausted and worked out, and you deserve some time in a quite environment to unwind. This will help cool down your mind which has probably been steaming with all kinds of thoughts all through under the pressure to see  everything done. This is the perfect time to relieve yourself of all the stress of the day.

 This can serve a great moment for you to find treasure in who you are, what you have and strategize on what you want; your goals and dreams.Our self worth goes high up the scale dramatically the moment we start being appreciative of ourselves, and this is the best time to do this. This will strongly boost your self esteem.

Spending some good time alone can be a great platform for you to master your emotions better by studying yourself and your reactions in the course of the day.

 You are able to make good use of your imaginative genius which is key  in exploring your abilities and your interests.

  It improves your concentration and also boosts you productivity in your career or profession.

 Your level of creativity shoots up.

 You are able to ponder over the challenges you are probably going through and come up with amicable solutions.

We need to spend some time alone to think.